Lower Brownsboro ‘mysteries’ clearing up, but it doesn’t look good for Clem’s Clams

Don’t get your hopes up. It appears there is no Clem’s Clams.

UPDATE (2/21/20): Boy, did I get that one wrong. I reported previously that it appeared the reopening of La Bonita was imminent (see below for my swing and miss). Oh, it reopened, all right — but under a new name: El Frijol (which translates in English to “The Bean”). The orange facade was painted black and a black vinyl sign was posted, so it would appear the restaurant is under new ownership. So, at least we’ll still have tacos on Lower Brownsboro. Still doesn’t look good for Clem’s Clams, though.

For years, the Subway in the strip mall on Lower Brownsboro Road was a convenient go-to for people living and working nearby. I am one of those people. When I was in a rush or was tired of the same-ol’, I could bypass Rally’s or McDonald’s and get a lunch that at least wasn’t something fried and teeming with fat.

No, it wasn’t the cleanest Subway in the city, but it was always there. And then it wasn’t. And while there are many better places to dine, it was a comforting thing for me as a long-time Clifton resident. I wasn’t heartbroken, necessarily, but I was at least bummed out. I do like my roast beef on wheat with jalapenos and extra mustard.

Subway was shuttered for months bearing a sign sign promising a remodeled version, but nothing seemed to be happening for weeks upon weeks. Then one day I drove by and noticed a dumpster out front. Over the next few weeks, I could catch glimpses of progress each time I drove by.

Well, the Little Subway That Could is about to reopen on Feb. 19. I peeked inside the other day and, sure enough, the fast-food restaurant got a complete overhaul, with the sandwich assembly line moving to the left wall, new paint, floors, furniture and an illuminated sign on the back wall.

The new look has less of a quick-service feel, leaning a bit toward fast casual. In short, you won’t recognize the place. And we can hope that the manager won’t take up an entire booth with paperwork as was always seemingly the case previously. (What was the deal with that, anyway?)

Meanwhile, a few doors down in the same strip mall, La Bonita Mexican Restaurant appears almost ready to reopen as well after a hiatus of several months. The place started as a tienda, then added a small taqueria, then expanded the restaurant part and confined the retail part to a smaller space. The food was hit and miss at first, but once it settled in, I had some great meals there, from the wide variety of tacos to the fantastic breakfast options (huevos con chorizo for the win!).

A $10 lunch buffet including fajitas was added, but the restaurant was forced to close in early December because an inspection of the range hood showed it was not up to city code. The windows were soon papered over and it appeared La Bonita may have closed its doors for good.

But I noticed people coming and going at times, so I kept up hope for a happy ending. When I drove by recently, I noticed new curtains in the windows, prompting me to stop and take a peek. It appears a fairly extensive change has been made to the interior, with what may or not be a bar added to the larger side of the space. It appears there are also more tables for added dining.

Will the menu expand? Hard to imagine that happening, since it was already pretty hearty, but I was told by an employee a few weeks before the closure that there were plans to serve margaritas, cerveza and other adult beverages. Fingers crossed.

Finally, another small mystery nearby was quietly taking place at the old Rally’s building, which has sat empty for more than a year (even though it looks like it’s been closed for a decade). At one point, a friend told me she saw a sign that a seafood place was coming. Seafood? At an old Rally’s?

I checked it out and found a spray-painted sign that read, “Coming Soon: Clem’s Clams.” Clem’s Clams? Sounds like something out of a Tarantino film.

Out of curiosity, I looked it up and the only references I found were on Robin Garr’s Louisville Hot Bytes forum, where a few folks were wondering what was up. Was it real? Would it ever open? Who was behind the concept?

I found a reference on Yelp to a defunct La Grange restaurant called Clem’s Seafood & Specialties. It seemed short-lived, and the lone review said this, “I wish I could give this place negative stars. This place is ridiculous. DO NOT order seafood from here for your business. It will kill you!! And the owner named Michael is an asshole and doesn't care about his customers. DON’T.”

Yeah, this doesn’t sound like a proprietor who was looking to stick around in the restaurant business.

One Hot Bytes contributor did some digging and suggested it might be related to a Lexington business called Clem's Refrigerated Foods, a restaurant wholesaler. Sure, it was a bit of a stretch, but one never knows. But then another user apparently solved the “mystery” by posting, “It’s a joke. I’m Facebook friends with someone who is friends with the guy who put up the sign. There is no Clem’s Clams.”

Bummer. Lower Brownsboro could use more clams. And maybe even more Clems.

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